Happy New Year everyone!
My husband's patience ran thin on that day, even though he wasn't mad with me, I ended up alone, a glass of sparkling apple juice in one hand, in my bathtub, crying. I think 2 minutes before the neighbours lit up their fireworks, he came to me, feeling shitty. Well hey bub, long time no see. Way to go, you ruined a perfectly fine night that could have been special. He heartfully apologized, which I guess mellowed things down. He wasn't feeling it, this "New Year". "What's so different about today that won't be the same as tomorrow?" Sure, I get that. But we, humans, make it a special day to celebrate the woes and joys from this year, throw it away fashionably and then welcome the new possibilities of the next year. It's that simple, bub, nothing crazy. He asked me what I had wanted. Same as last year: us on the patio, a glass of something in our hands waiting for the fireworks. A kiss and a "Happy New Year." and that's it. A little talk about the expectations we have. We don't do promises we can't keep, so we usually go with wishes and my feeling for the newly come year.
Now that I got this embarrassingly sad moment out of my way, I thank the nameless internet for blowing that dark cloud away and welcome the new possibilities of this great year to come!
So... What's your feeling for next year?
Feeling? What what?
Let me explain a little...
Every year, a few weeks or days before the new year rings in, I get this feeling for the next year. Usually a single word.
I've started this at the end of 2015 with the word Springboard. Sure enough, it was the year we made a lot of leaps—some of faith. We bought our first house, my husband lost his job, I went back to work after many years to name a few. Life changes for sure.
Then by the end of 2016, the word Discovery came up. 2017 is the year we discovered I had had Lyme disease all those years, explaining many symptoms that didn't make sense together and why all the weird tests I've had done on my person came back negative or inconclusive. Finally, someone had a diagnostic!
Side note: This is why I'm not updating as frequently as I should. I'm drained most days.
And I started the long road of removing gluten, dairy & sugar (except erythritol, stevia, xylitol, monk fruit sugar, coconut sugar, and on occasion only, honey & maple syrup.) from my diet to lower inflammation so the treatment would work better. I dare you to try not to eat anything with sugar for a month. You'll find that almost everything we buy at the grocery store has sugar. Most gluten-free products are loaded with sugar too! Going out is a nightmare, sometimes, I bring my own sugar-free ketchup and mayo and grab lettuce wrapped A&W burger with nothing but veggies and the meat. But most times, the thought of eating at a fast food place makes me want to gag. I was not the healthiest, maybe, but I was never a fan of fast food either. My comfort food is toast with butter, sliced banana on top and drizzled with honey. Thank goodness, I found out that "00" flour is from Italy and people who react to gluten, sometimes don't react to this flour. So I've got the go from my doctor to use is and I'm never going back to gluten-free flour options. I'm making my own bread. It's not as fluffy because I think this flour is intended for pizza, or I don't know what I'm doing, but hey, I can have my comfort food again!
But now I have a problem... 2018 ended not with a word but an image and I don't know what to make of it:
|Wild Flower Field - flickr|
In the end, I still got to spend the late night/early morning with my husband, but he felt nauseous, so no sparkling apple juice for him. Then the kids drank most of the bottle on the next day—this is a non-alcoholized beverage.
This New Year better be good, or else!
|Nicole is my spirit animal|